001: Loss For Words
I’ve tried and failed to get back into blogging twice now. So the third time is a charm right? I haven’t been able to commit to blogging like I did in the past. I haven’t done this regularly in over a decade. So it feels a bit weird to find myself here once again. I’m not sure why it feels weird though. I mean, I used to do this all the time. And it was easy. It was nothing for me to jot down my thoughts and opinions.
But at some point, it really became nothing. I just stopped. And it wasn’t just blogging. It was message boards. It was comment sections. It was social media. I had all of these words and just kept them to myself. It’s something that’s been going on for a long time. And for the last few years, I’ve found myself merely reading online discourse and never participating in a single conversation.
This is a strange daily routine that I’ve developed. And it goes against one of my main attractions to the internet, which was talking about my interests with others. The internet made it easy to find a discussion attached to every little thing that I found remotely fascinating. This was something lacking from my real life and easily provided by the screen in front of me.
But once again, at some point I just stopped and became a passive observer. After the past two failures to launch, I think I’m finally ready to change this behavior and start writing again. It was a very therapeutic hobby for me, and my heart has a ravenous desire to start healing.